I am a big pile of salt(?)

This week I've had a small change of heart. I've had some moments of clarity when I've felt so loved and close to my Heavenly Father. I know I can't keep looking back to where we've been and wishing things were still the same, because they're not. I should be better at change than I am, apparently. Ironically, this is not the first time I've struggled with a move and missed where we just moved away from. One of these moves, maybe I'll learn:-)

I've enjoyed reading scriptures together as a family before the kids go to school. It's nice that school begins later so we actually have time before we all rush out the door. Last week, something Dan read got us talking about the story in the Bible of Lot and his wife. For a little refresher, Lot was instructed by God to leave the evil city of Sodom before it was destroyed. Lot's family had been living among the wicked, yet while they were leaving, Lot's wife turned back to look upon the city and was turned into a "pillar of salt." This struck me, though I'd heard the story many times before.....

I have been wanting Colorado to be something it's not, or maybe that it's "not yet." I've longed for my friends in Arizona and California and could've been trying harder to make new friends here. I compare our new ward to our old ward and am unhappy with the comparison. I have been feeling sad and lonely and have wished things were different. I have been looking back over my shoulder at my past life, even when the Lord has provided a wonderful new life and new opportunities for us here. I should be a pile of salt, no doubt! Now, please don't think I'm comparing Gilbert to the evil city of Sodom! Quite the opposite...yet, I know now I need to look forward instead of constantly looking back.

I've been re-reading parts of Deen Kemsley's book Trust in the Lord. Many of you may know the author's brother, Vicki Parry. In part 5 of the book, he talks of "The Path of Simplicity." He begins the chapter with the quote, "Christ will magnify our small, faithful efforts, transforming them into moments of overwhelming joy." (pg. 65) I absolutely love this:

"But as I listened to the voice within, it lifted a burden off my shoulders, testifying that there is a time to strive and a time to stop striving. At that period in my life, it was time to stop striving so hard and simply do the straightforward tasks at hand." (pg. 67) ..."If we listen, we can all find this voice within us, a voice that will place us on a specific path of purpose and meaning the Lord has prepared for each of us. As we walk down this path, we'll find it's largely paved in simplicity. At times, God may call on us to preform great feats- difficult tasks that require all of our faith and might to fulfill. Often, however, he'll call on us to perform simple tasks. From these acts, he can transform our small offerings into eternal deeds that we could never accomplish on our own." (pg. 68)

I know I need to focus more of my energy on the most important things: my amazing husband and kids and my faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know with a certainty that we are here in Colorado for a reason. We have a comfortable home and Dan has a job, which, especially these days, are huge blessings. Friends will come eventually, I hope. I will keep doing the simple things, like going to church, cooking meals, playing with Claire, doing laundry and helping my kids with their homework. I will appreciate where we've been, but will try to look forward to where we're going...